On Fire

About two hours ago, I tried to build a fire.  We're out of starter logs, so it was just my pyro skills and a stack of paper to work with.  I poked and I adjusted the logs, I added more logs, more paper.  I had this nagging feeling that God wanted to use this fire to teach me something, but after a solid half-hour of trying, I gave up.  It just wasn't going to happen and I figured that nagging feeling was just my own crazy head.  As I was sitting here on the couch just now, the fire started to burn.  It's burning.  What the what?  And now I think I know what he wanted to teach me.

I've been spinning a lot lately.  I get on one track - "God must want me to go to Cambodia, let me research Cambodian relief organizations and trafficking statistics and apartments in Phnom Phen!"  Then that sort of fizzles and I get on something else - Maybe we should be foster parents!  Maybe we should adopt!  Maybe we should start a mentoring program with teen moms..  Maybe we should feed the homeless..  Maybe I should share the gospel with my neighbors.. Maybe.. Maybe..  Maybe not.  Honestly I wear myself out with my incessant poking at God and trying to add my own fuel to get things going.  I'm reminded now that God will give me the plan in His own time.  I only need to wait and be obedient.  In the meantime there is plenty of good to do - kindness to people I meet, patience with  my children (especially needed today!), faithful service in the areas He has already called me.  When it's time, He'll light the fire for me.  What an awesome God we serve.

(Please nobody burst my bubble and tell me that fires start spontaneously all the time.  Maybe they do but I know that God used it today for me!)