About two hours ago, I tried to build a fire. We're out of starter logs, so it was just my pyro skills and a stack of paper to work with. I poked and I adjusted the logs, I added more logs, more paper. I had this nagging feeling that God wanted to use this fire to teach me something, but after a solid half-hour of trying, I gave up. It just wasn't going to happen and I figured that nagging feeling was just my own crazy head. As I was sitting here on the couch just now, the fire started to burn. It's burning. What the what? And now I think I know what he wanted to teach me.
I've been spinning a lot lately. I get on one track - "God must want me to go to Cambodia, let me research Cambodian relief organizations and trafficking statistics and apartments in Phnom Phen!" Then that sort of fizzles and I get on something else - Maybe we should be foster parents! Maybe we should adopt! Maybe we should start a mentoring program with teen moms.. Maybe we should feed the homeless.. Maybe I should share the gospel with my neighbors.. Maybe.. Maybe.. Maybe not. Honestly I wear myself out with my incessant poking at God and trying to add my own fuel to get things going. I'm reminded now that God will give me the plan in His own time. I only need to wait and be obedient. In the meantime there is plenty of good to do - kindness to people I meet, patience with my children (especially needed today!), faithful service in the areas He has already called me. When it's time, He'll light the fire for me. What an awesome God we serve.
(Please nobody burst my bubble and tell me that fires start spontaneously all the time. Maybe they do but I know that God used it today for me!)
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Friday, April 5, 2013
Truth In Love
I've been hearing the phrase "speak truth in love" quite a bit in the current marriage debate, and the more I hear it, the more I think that we're not using it correctly. It seems to me to be one of those phrases like "I don't mean to be offensive/rude, but..." or "Bless her heart...", which sounds nice but is inevitably followed by something terrible. I'm not suggesting that we should never state our beliefs for fear of offending someone, but I do think we could work on our approach a bit. So I decided to dive in and analyze (maybe overanalyze!) the passage and see what I could come up with.
The source is Ephesians 4:15: Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
It seems fairly clear to me that this was written for Christians in their interactions with one another. We will become the mature body of Christ. That's the church. In fact, the whole chapter is about unity within the body of believers, and of course Ephesians was a letter written to the church in Ephesus. We're taking this verse out of context if we use it to justify broadcasting our beliefs to the world at large.
I recently read a chapter from the book Love Without Agenda by Jimmy Spencer, Jr. (I haven't read the whole book and have no idea if it's good or theologically sound, but this one chapter was very good.) He talks about how once we come to believe the truth represented by Jesus, we must then decide how we will use that truth. He sets out two options - "#1: I use truth to advance an agenda of coercing the people around me to think, act and believe like me. I use truth to distinguish between allies and enemies. I use truth to brow beat people and prove that I am right. Truth gives me the right to speak into people’s lives, regardless of their willingness to participate..." or "#2: I use truth to advance a deep and profound purpose for my personal life. Truth is a weapon, intended to be used on myself to help me understand what it means to be human. If this truth is attractive to others, I’ll freely and gladly share it with them. Truth gives me the freedom to love others because that is who I am. Truth sets me free. I conform myself to Truth in the hopes of growing closer to God and others. Truth illuminates other’s values and calls me to respect their opinions and beliefs." (Psst, I think #2 is the right answer.) He later says, "We simply don’t act like Jesus—while yet defending truths about Jesus. We must aspire to a higher truth." AMEN! Defending truths that Jesus cares about isn't wrong, but we have to find a way to do that while still acting like Jesus.
And then there's the crux - with whom do we share this truth *in love*? I am convinced that you cannot speak in love via Facebook or holding up a sign at a protest. To speak in love to someone, you first have to know them. This goes back to the first statement in bold above - "truth gives me the right to speak into people's lives". You have to have a relationship with someone before you have the right to speak an incredibly difficult truth to them. I can probably count on one hand the people in my life whom I would feel entitled to or comfortable with addressing their sins. It's a heart-wrenching, intimate, complicated conversation that you can't and shouldn't have with just anyone. I think of the adulterous woman that was about to be stoned. The famous "you who are without sin, cast the first stone" incident. I think maybe Jesus said this because we're not supposed to be throwing stones in the public square at people we don't even know. This mob of strangers and acquaintances acting like her sin was so much worse than theirs and so worthy to be punished - that didn't fly with Jesus. And you have to love his perfect response to her: I do not condemn you. Go, and sin no more.
Have you ever had a random stranger come up to you and point out a sin that you committed? Or even just a comment on your appearance or your parenting skills? How'd you receive that? Immediately change your ways or go tell a friend about the crazy, rude person you encountered that day? We can't spout these things out in a public forum or to a stranger and expect them to have any impact. And if there is no impact, then what is the point? To *stand up for our convictions*? Does that even mean anything if it doesn't draw anyone to Christ?
James 2:12-13: Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.
Perhaps instead of talking at people about what they're doing wrong, we need to come alongside people with love and mercy, acknowledging that we are just as messed up and broken. In time and in relationship, we will be able to share the forgiveness and grace, and yes sometimes difficult truth, that has been so generously given to us. That sounds like love to me.
The source is Ephesians 4:15: Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
It seems fairly clear to me that this was written for Christians in their interactions with one another. We will become the mature body of Christ. That's the church. In fact, the whole chapter is about unity within the body of believers, and of course Ephesians was a letter written to the church in Ephesus. We're taking this verse out of context if we use it to justify broadcasting our beliefs to the world at large.
I recently read a chapter from the book Love Without Agenda by Jimmy Spencer, Jr. (I haven't read the whole book and have no idea if it's good or theologically sound, but this one chapter was very good.) He talks about how once we come to believe the truth represented by Jesus, we must then decide how we will use that truth. He sets out two options - "#1: I use truth to advance an agenda of coercing the people around me to think, act and believe like me. I use truth to distinguish between allies and enemies. I use truth to brow beat people and prove that I am right. Truth gives me the right to speak into people’s lives, regardless of their willingness to participate..." or "#2: I use truth to advance a deep and profound purpose for my personal life. Truth is a weapon, intended to be used on myself to help me understand what it means to be human. If this truth is attractive to others, I’ll freely and gladly share it with them. Truth gives me the freedom to love others because that is who I am. Truth sets me free. I conform myself to Truth in the hopes of growing closer to God and others. Truth illuminates other’s values and calls me to respect their opinions and beliefs." (Psst, I think #2 is the right answer.) He later says, "We simply don’t act like Jesus—while yet defending truths about Jesus. We must aspire to a higher truth." AMEN! Defending truths that Jesus cares about isn't wrong, but we have to find a way to do that while still acting like Jesus.
And then there's the crux - with whom do we share this truth *in love*? I am convinced that you cannot speak in love via Facebook or holding up a sign at a protest. To speak in love to someone, you first have to know them. This goes back to the first statement in bold above - "truth gives me the right to speak into people's lives". You have to have a relationship with someone before you have the right to speak an incredibly difficult truth to them. I can probably count on one hand the people in my life whom I would feel entitled to or comfortable with addressing their sins. It's a heart-wrenching, intimate, complicated conversation that you can't and shouldn't have with just anyone. I think of the adulterous woman that was about to be stoned. The famous "you who are without sin, cast the first stone" incident. I think maybe Jesus said this because we're not supposed to be throwing stones in the public square at people we don't even know. This mob of strangers and acquaintances acting like her sin was so much worse than theirs and so worthy to be punished - that didn't fly with Jesus. And you have to love his perfect response to her: I do not condemn you. Go, and sin no more.
Have you ever had a random stranger come up to you and point out a sin that you committed? Or even just a comment on your appearance or your parenting skills? How'd you receive that? Immediately change your ways or go tell a friend about the crazy, rude person you encountered that day? We can't spout these things out in a public forum or to a stranger and expect them to have any impact. And if there is no impact, then what is the point? To *stand up for our convictions*? Does that even mean anything if it doesn't draw anyone to Christ?
James 2:12-13: Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.
Perhaps instead of talking at people about what they're doing wrong, we need to come alongside people with love and mercy, acknowledging that we are just as messed up and broken. In time and in relationship, we will be able to share the forgiveness and grace, and yes sometimes difficult truth, that has been so generously given to us. That sounds like love to me.
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