I have typed and deleted many a blog post this month. There's so much stuff processing in my brain that I don't know where to start, or I'll start and end up rambling about something completely different. This is my own fault. I'll get online to check Facebook and Twitter and before I know it, I've read 15 (often conflicting) blog articles, watched a seminar video or two, and downloaded another book. I am on information overload.
Have you heard about the orphan crisis? How churches and Christians are beginning to take up the cause of the orphan and encourage adoption around the world? YAY! Did you also know that many countries are well aware that the rich Westerners want to adopt children, and that has created so much corruption in the adoption industry that in some cases it's impossible to know if they child you are adopting is actually an orphan at all? *Insert Debbie-Downer wah-wah-wah sound here.*
Have you always wanted to go on a mission trip? It sounds great, right? Spread the gospel around the world! Build houses and water wells! YAY! Did you also know that some short-term mission trips are not actually that helpful to the local, long-term missionaries on the ground that have to design experiences for the short-termers who have big expectations and not always great skill sets? Did you know that local economy in Haiti has been (even further than it already was) damaged because of the massive influx of rice donations after the earthquake? Wah-wah. Gracious, it's like we can't win here.
What I'm realizing more and more is that there are no easy answers in the Christian life, whether we're talking about our personal walk or our impact on the world. "Pray and read your Bible" are such cliche answers to every situation that I tend to disregard them, but we must be anchored in the Holy Spirit and in scripture or we have no hope. God forbid that in my haste to be a hero and jump on the adoption bandwagon - which I totally did when I first read about it - I might unknowingly participate in someone's baby being taken from them under false pretenses. With all this information out there, it can be overwhelming but we have a responsibility to do our homework.
I have the opportunity to go to Cambodia this fall. It has been a serious internal struggle for me. I want to be effective, not just a tourist to someone else's poverty and struggle. I have prayed and thought and read and talked, and I really do feel like God wants me to go, so I'm putting in my application and we'll see. I don't know why He wants me to go, but I don't want to miss out on something He might have for me. But I admit I have been terrified about it. Afraid of danger, long flights, foreign languages, new foods, the unknown, sure. But most of all I am TERRIFIED that I will do the wrong thing in God's name. In my zeal to be a go-er and a do-er, might I do harm in the process?
I actually think this is a good thing. Philippians 2:12 says "So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed...work out your salvation
with fear and trembling." You could take that a few different directions, but I feel it applied to me in this way: Do not for a moment take for granted that I know God's plans and purposes. Approach my role in his kingdom work with caution, wise counsel, and a healthy dose of fear. Not fear that stops us from acting, mind you, but a posture that I never, ever want to act on my own agenda in a way that dishonors God. Good intentions are not always enough. That bit of trembling as I step out forces me into reliance on God's power and will.
As I write all of that, the other side of my brain is saying, aren't we supposed to be working on being more bold and confident and acting immediately when we feel the Spirit prompting us? Isn't one way of getting out of the inertia of doing nothing to *just do something*, even if we're not sure it's The Thing? And I think the answers to those questions is yes, so I'm not exactly sure how to reconcile the two. We can't be paralyzed in inaction because we are afraid of doing the wrong thing, and there are so many needs out there that surely doing something to meet a need, any need, is a good thing. But there are also people out there who will capitalize on anything to make a profit. So let's be bold, confident servants who go into our various areas of ministry with our eyes, ears, and search engines open, and desperately rely on God to lead us.
(Links for those interested: On adoption. On short-term missions.
Please note that I'm not claiming all international adoptions or short-term missions are bad - obviously, I'm planning to go on one! I just think we need to be aware of this stuff.)
