Before you do any Christmas shopping...

...read this!

Last year I kind of got interested in the idea of our Christmas gifts being conscientious purchases, and not just a bunch of plastic junk that was probably made by children and/or slave labor.  (Here comes Debbie Downer with her slave labor talk...)  I did some research and never could really make heads or tails of which companies treat their workers well, so I gave up and just bought a little bit of plastic and a little bit of good stuff.  That seems to be the best I can do at this stage of life.  (And let's be honest, it's hard to explain to a 4 year old that the My Little Pony she has her heart set on may or may not have been made in a sweatshop.)  But this year I did a little more research, and I think I have a pretty good collection of resources to share with you if you would like your shopping dollars to do more than just fill a box under your tree!

Many of the sites I'm linking to are companies/ministries that employ people in developing countries so that they can have a way to escape poverty, some employ former sex workers or trafficking survivors, and some are just fair trade places.  You can figure it out as you click.  :)  A * means the company is faith-based. 

Pretty Things:
* Sak Saum - A Cambodian ministry that provides vocational training; they are “dedicated to the rescue, restoration, transformation and rehabilitation of vulnerable and exploited women and men” .  They sell jewelry and scarves, and their purses are GORGEOUS.  Look at this adorable "Em" bag!  

* Mercy House Kenya - A maternity home in Kenya that provides maternity and post-natal care, as well as vocational training and much more.  Beautiful everything - jewelry, cards, t-shirts, and this bag that wants to come to my house ASAP.

* 3 Cords Haiti -  "Our mission is to provide opportunities for physically handicapped women and men, and to show them that they are both beautiful and valuable.  We do this by training our employees as artisans in a loving, community oriented environment."  Beautiful jewelry, bags, laptop cases, and cards. 

Live Fashionable - Empowers women in Africa by providing them with a sustainable business opportunity.  Their scarves are adorable!!  I bought one for my mom last year.

Made By Survivors - As the name implies, they employ trafficking survivors.  "100% of profits go to support rescue, aftercare, education and employment."  They have really gorgeous jewelry, wallets and ties (hey, something for the boys!), and cute kids’ items.  How adorable is this ladybag bag for a little girl?

Noonday Collection:  Mostly known for their amazing jewelry, but they also have cute tea towels, stationery and other goodies.  "Your fashion sense can now restore dignity to abandoned women in Ethiopia, empower communities in Ecuador, and create business opportunities for Ugandans."  It's a little more expensive than some of the other sites I've posted, but come on.  Look at this beauty.

Freedom Stones - "An organization dedicated to breaking the chains of poverty and injustice wherever human trafficking exists."  This one's made in Cambodia.

Yummy Things:
Ticket Chocolate - Uses chocolate from farmers that offer positive working conditions.  (Another Debbie Downer fact - a lot of the chocolate sold in our grocery stores comes from slave labor.  Boo.)  But who can resist these amazing hot chocolate on a stick things? 

* Zoe Coffee - This coffee is fair trade and roasted locally in the D/FW area.  Plus proceeds go to Rescue Her, which in turn fights human trafficking around the world!  If you didn't already know, I went to Cambodia with Rescue Her, so I highly recommend their organization.  Click around their store too - they sell other cool stuff besides coffee.

For the Kids:
Planet Happy - this is more of a green/sustainable focus, but they do say that their products are fairly traded.  Plus they have a wide variety of toys that I think kids would actually want!  Great selection of art supplies and wooden toys.
 

Marketplaces:
These sites sell items from many different artisans/companies around the world.  If you have a specific gift in mind, check for it here!

Global Girlfriend - All products are made by women, and "each item you buy helps fund a seed money micro-grant through Camfed (Campaign for Female Education) to help a woman in Africa launch a small business venture to support herself and her family."  There are clothes, food items, greeting cards, bath/body products and more.

Ten Thousand Villages - "A global network of social entrepreneurs works to empower artisans in developing countries."  Beautiful kitchenware, lovely nativity sets and other Christmas items, home decor, and the usual suspects.  

Green Heart Shop - Focused on fair trade.  Candles, mugs, basketballs/soccer balls, glassware, gift boxes, honey, tea, chocolate, coffee, ornaments, aprons, clothing, toys, you name it. 

In Your Name...:
If your gift recipient is the type that would appreciate an “I donated to ___ in your name”, here are some great organizations:

* SHE Rescue Home - I volunteered here while in Cambodia and they are amazing - you can read more about them here.  They have a store with a few items, you can donate directly, or how cool would it be to sponsor a girl for a year in someone’s name?!  I personally would love that... (hint, hint) 

* International Justice Mission - Close to my heart because they rescue trafficked girls, but they do many other wonderful things around the world.  Lawyers doing good stuff, hooray!

* Agape International Mission - Rescues and restores trafficked girls in Cambodia

Kiva - Because I think microfinance lending is the coolest.  Seriously.  You can choose who your money goes to.

* Help One Now - Doing amazing work in Haiti and Africa, working with local pastors along the way.  You can donate or sponsor a child.

* World Vision  - Kind of the granddaddy of Christian charities, and they do just about everything.  They have a great gift catalog too - buy a goat in someone's name!

Still want to shop at your same old places?  Make it count!
Amazon Smile will donate 0.5% of your purchases to your favorite charity (I know, it’s peanuts, but it’s something).

Sign up for a Pure Charity account.  It's like social networking for charity.  You can choose different organizations and projects to follow or support, and once you have their little webapp installed in your browser, different websites where you shop will donate a percentage of your purchase to your PC account.  It’s pretty cool.

I hope this is a useful tool for you this Christmas.  Pin it, share it, bookmark it, whatever!  And even though this post is all about shopping, I hope we can all keep our focus on Christ - after all, there is no greater gift than Him!

Do you have any favorites that I forgot?  Post them in the comments!

Linkfest!

In case any of you may feel the Lord touching your heart for Cambodia, I wanted to give you some links to follow.  We visited amazing ministries every day that empower, teach, and minister to the Cambodian people and any of them would be worthy of your support!

SHE Rescue Home:
This was the main focus of our visit.  SHE is a shelter for girls that have been trafficked, raped, prostituted, or are at risk of any of those things.  They have a store stocked with some of the things made by the girls and/or their families.  They also have some new items coming soon that we got to see while we were there.  They are super cute, so keep an eye on their site!  You can also sponsor a girl there through the website, and I can assure you that all the girls are precious and your sponsorship dollars would be well spent.

Daughters:
I spent A LOT of money at their shop.  Their stuff is insanely cute.  I'm seriously considering becoming a representative so that I can sell some of their things here, so stay tuned!  Also, if you follow them on Facebook, they often post prayer requests for some of their girls, which is a bit of a reality check that even though these girls have been rescued out of trafficking, they still have big and very real struggles.

Agape International:
If there is one great disappointment from the trip, it's that we missed visiting Agape because of our flight delay the first day.  Half the team got to go and they had wonderful things to say about Agape.  They have gone into an area that used to be completely overrun with brothels and child prostitution and replaced that with schools, shelters, and all sorts of good things.   The also do some rescuing work, which is different than a lot of the organizations we visited that are more focused on aftercare.  There's a good video on this site too if you follow the link. 

Empowering Cambodia:
They do a ton of ministry in the poorer, rural provinces.  I wish we could have seen more of their work in person because it sounds awesome.  Lots of farming initiatives, microfinance, home building, water wells, and education.  Good stuff.

Open Arms:
Home of the amazing $3 hair wash!  This place does amazing vocational training and other things.  We got to meet Sandra, who founded Open Arms and has an amazing heart for the girls here.

New Life Fellowship Churches:
The church we attended on our trip - they do tons of ministry in the city with poor families, providing food, education, and most importantly the message of Christ!

And of course, this list is not complete without Rescue Her, the organization that I went on the trip with!  Their store has adorable t-shirts, bracelets, bags, and coffee!

Photos!

I finally got some pictures downloaded!  I'm hoping to get some more from the rest of the team because mine aren't great, but here they are.

First are some ministry shots.  The first two are from the first morning when we served at the church near the dump.  We did activities inside with the kids and then handed out some food.  The last two are from the HIV orphanage, New Hope for Cambodian Children - precious little ones!

Unfortunately at most of our ministry stops, we were not allowed to take pictures, either to protect the privacy of the girls or simply to be respectful of the families.  I actually appreciated that about our trip, but it's a bit of a bummer that I can't share so much of it.  So I'll move on to some snapshots of life in Cambodia...

A tuk tuk!  Our primary mode of transportation.  I miss it already.

The insanely muddy road we drove on to get to the Killing Fields.  A couple of times our tuk tuk got stuck so we all had to get out and walk for a little bit while he got moving again.

A house we saw on the ride to the Killing Fields.  I wouldn't say this is a typical house, but definitely not uncommon.

My attempt at getting a picture of the traffic.  There are really no words for the chaos that is Phnom Penh traffic.  Most of the people are on motorcycles or tuk tuks, so they just weave in and out of traffic like there are no rules.  Eventually you get used to feeling like you are about to get hit at any given moment!

Spirit houses - this must have been a market or something where they were selling them.  Many, many homes have a spirit house out front, and the people believe some kind of spirits live in there and they will burn incense for them or even leave food for them.  Very sad.

I don't know how well you can see this, but it's a couple with 3 small kids on their moto.  We saw this everywhere, it was crazy!  Apparently car seat safety is not a big deal in Cambodia.  ;)

And finally, some pretty things!  My beautiful, amazing team:

Khmer iced coffee with sweet milk!  Better than Starbucks.  I had one every day.

Our table at Daughters Cafe, an awesome restaurant where they employ women that have come out of trafficking.  Daughters also has a store where I spent so much of my money.  They make the most beautiful things!

From the wall at SHE rescue home, which sums it all up quite nicely:

Days 5 and 6!

Sunday means Church Day! We got to attend New Life Fellowship Church. First we went to the children's church, where we helped them hand out snacks. (By the way, their snack was a 'sandwich' of sweetened condensed milk between 2 pieces of bread. Maybe this should have been sad to me, but it was hilarious watching some of the kids open up the bread and just lick the milk out of the middle. I can totally see my kids doing that!) One of the pastors told us about all the ministries they do in the community, providing schooling and English classes, food and other ministries to the slums and the garbage dump folks. Very inspiring. We performed a few songs and a skit for the children and then just got to sit and listen to the rest of their service. It was so sweet to hear the kids worshiping and praying, even though we didn't understand any of it!

 One of my very favorite things about this day was speaking with one young man who was a teacher at the school. He talked to us about how he wanted to see his country change and especially to see this generation grow up knowing Christ. He said he believes that Jesus can do it and he asked us to keep praying for his country. Melt my little heart into a puddle. I just love this country and know I will be praying for them my whole life.

After kids' church, we got to attend 'big church' downstairs. It was wonderful to worship with them and thankfully a few of us got to hear the service translated through headphones. It was funny, part of his sermon was about not just focusing on church programs but on ministry and relationships, and I thought it would be perfectly applicable to a church in the States! I guess church problems are similar worldwide.

After church, we had one last family visit. Three of us got to visit with the adults, and the rest stayed downstairs with the kids. Now is a good time to talk about their houses. One of our team described them as treehouses, and that is just about right, at least in the villages. They usually have a couple of rooms downstairs, and then you climb up a wooden ladder to the top floor and it's like a treehouse. Also in the room where we met, they do sewing for the SHE home. That was really cool to see another direct impact of the ministry, especially since we had just spent so much money on that stuff the day before! Even though I know the conditions are still poor and I don't see how I could ever live there, in some ways on this day this house just seemed normal to me. They had such pride in their home and kept it clean and it just felt more like a cultural difference than a tragedy. Maybe that's also because we had such a great visit. I got to be with the adults, and two of the women were Christians and two were not. We talked to them about God's love, and the two non-Christians didn't really understand prayer so we spent some time explaining that. Then one of the Christian women just talked to us about how she loves to tell others about God and how happy she was that we were there. She said she knows that more people are coming to know God because of the foreign teams that have come in, and that was such a huge morale boost for us. She was just an encouragement all around. I asked her if it was ever hard or scary to share her faith, and she said no. What an example! I got to tell them too how God had put a special place in my heart for Cambodia and that I was praying for them. Best day ever. :)

When we were finished and went downstairs, the kids were playing duck-duck-goose and we watched them for a while longer. It was so fun to watch them run and play and just be kids. Later the kids' team told us they had talked about how God is always with them. At this point in the trip we were almost completely out of craft supplies so all we had left was some purple ribbon. They ended up making them 'reminder bracelets' with the ribbon so they would remember that God was with them. I don't think we had encountered or noticed this yet, but some of the kids were also wearing red bracelets which are for Buddhism, so it was actually really cool that they got to put on the purple ones.

The next day I already posted a little bit about. We spent some more time at Open Arms, did a ton of shopping at a place called Daughters (another cool ministry), and visited Empowering Cambodia. They do some awesome things in the provinces, from building water wells to providing education to microloans. In Phnom Penh, they have a sewing training program, which is where we visited. We had the opportunity for a couple of us to share testimonies and several of the women asked us to pray over them.

We had our last meal at Jars of Clay, then headed to the airport for the long trip home. It's a good thing I loved Cambodia, because the traveling was every bit as bad as I thought it would be. I think I counted it up and I spent almost 40 hours on planes in total. Movies and video games can only get you so far! Hopefully if/when I go back, I'll have someone with me so I can at least talk a little bit to pass the time! That's the last of the daily recaps, but no fear I still have plenty to tell about! And pictures, one of these days I'll get those in order and post them too. So far since I got home yesterday morning I've slept about 14 hours and still have lots of catching up to do. Thank goodness for cool rainy weather, perfect for napping. :) Also I just want to say a quick thank you so much to all those who prayed and supported me on this trip. I'm still working on an answer to "how was your trip?" that is less than 4,958 words long so for now you might just get "wonderful!" when you ask.

Day 4

This day was a bit different. We drove about an hour and a half to New Life For Cambodian Children, an orphanage in the province for children with HIV. Most of their parents have died from the disease or can no longer care for them. The place is huge with multiple housing buildings, school buildings, dining areas, a massive playground, a medical center stocked with all the medications for the kids, and then they do a lot of farming there for food and to sell to the markets. They have egg-laying hens, ginormous pigs, and lots of vegetables. I cant remember if they do rice, but rice seems to grow everywhere here. It's really beautiful, these massive fields of green. Anyway, we toured the orphanage and then they prepared us the best lunch. Fried chicken, french fries, rice, some kind of zucchini-like vegetable that was really yummy, a Khmer sour soup, and giant red grapes. I was a bit nervous because the kids were eating this stuff they called fish porridge and I thought I would have to pray that stuff down, but they were so sweet to cook things we would like. We joked and said we needed to open a KFC- Khmer Fried Chicken - and sell that stuff. It was so good!

After lunch we set up - you guessed it - crafts! There were about 150 kids so we divided them into a few groups but it was mostly mass chaos. :) They finished pretty quick so we had some time to just talk and play with the kids. They take English classes so especially the older ones were able to talk to us really well. I have some really cute pictures from here that I can't wait to share. I had one little boy that was my shadow, and he was a sweetheart. Orphanages here are a bit different because most countries have closed adoption with Cambodia (lots of fraud several years back) so they pretty much know the kids will be there until they are 18. The kids seemed mostly healthy though, and they talked about sending them off to university and jobs so their prognosis must be pretty good.

That took up most of our day, and then we moved from where we were staying to a hostel on the riverfront. I think the idea was that we would be able to minister to some of the girls in the red light district, but some of the rules have changed so we haven't really done that.

 I will have to write about day 5 later - it was my favorite! Today is day 6, and our flight home leaves very late tonight. We have one more ministry to visit, a place where they train girls to sew. Then we have some free time for shopping and Open Arms, our favorite. It is another ministry that trains girls to do beauty stuff. We went the other day and I had a hair wash, which is like 30 minutes of washing and head massage for about $4. Ridiculous. They use ice cold water and it feels sooooo good after being in the heat all day. Then it will be time to head home. In some ways it feels like I just got here and in others it feels like I have been here forever. I pray that this won't be the last time I get to come here. Definitely can't wait to see my babies and my hubby. Please be patient with me as I readjust to normal life and forgive me if 80% of my sentences for the next few months start with "when I was in Cambodia..."

Day 3

We started out our morning headed to another visit with the family of one of the rescue home girls, but the traffic was so terrible we couldn't get there! We were in the tuk tuk for probably an hour, it was crazy. They had blocked off one of the most major roads because they were opening a new monument to the former king. So we skipped ahead to our next stop, which was BloomCafe. They make the most AMAZING cakes, so we got to eat cupcakes and coffee and got to tour the whole place and see them bake and decorate.

After lunch the road was back open so we got to do the family visit. Their village had a lot of flooding so we put on our 'gum boots' and were warned if we fell off the path we might have to swim! Thank God it wasn't too bad, but it was definitely a rickety wooden path with murky water below. At the house, some of us spoke with the mom and daughter - they are both Christians now and were happy to be with sisters in Christ. Downstairs we met with a few of the neighborhood kids. We told them about how God created the world and each of them, and we did some crafts. If there is a theme to this trip, it is crafts! We do them everywhere.

Next was back to SHE rescue home were we helped the girls build and plant their first small veggie garden. Then more devotional and crafts with the girls and said goodbye. That will be our last time to spend with them. After we were done we went back to the office and had some time to buy some of the things that the girls and their families make - it is part of how they help them earn a wage - and after all was said and done they said we had paid for 3 months of wages for the families! The power of women shopping. :)

Pizza for dinner then back to our room, where I finally slept all night. Thank you for praying for that! I felt less sad and overwhelmed after this day which was good. Things are hard here but there is hope in there too.

Day 2

Is this really just day 2? I feel like I must have miased one. Anywho this day was a very long and overwhelming one. We started out by going to the Killing Fields to learn more about Cambodia's history. Tough morning. I had read about the Khmer Rouge over the past year or so but it was still unbelievable to be there. 3 million people out of their 8 million population just wiped out. It is one of the reasons their country suffers so much today and is so poor.

After that we did some work at the SHE offices stamping some bags for them to sell. The we went to a village to visit the grandmother of one of the girls in the rescue home. They do these visits with families monthly and we will be doing more of them while we are here. Part of our group taught a devotional about love and family with the adults, and some of us worked with the sweet children singing, talking about prayer, and doing more crafts. They love crafts! I love saying my handful of Khmer phrases to them, it is so much fun.

The conditions in the village are so difficult. Some of them have little more than a raised wooden flat for sleeping with a curtain type thing to close it up. They have had so much flooding this year and many are displaced from their homes. The grandmother today said her home is waist deep in water and there are snakes. Pray for her!

We also went to the "village" at the garbage dump at night to distribute food and water. The conditions here are again unbelievable. I cried all the way home. I think I was just so overwhelmed by the enormity of the poverty and in total awe of the men and women who do this work day in and out. So much more to tell but I should try to sleep.

Pray for rest and strength for our team - we all keep waking up around 1 or 2 am and having trouble going back to sleep. At least tonight I went to bed early and got several hours of sleep but it is 3 and I have been up for an hour. It is amazing though, I will feel so tired before we get to our ministries and God just boosts me with love and energy when we get there.

Day 1

Typing this on my nook so there will be oodles of typos and choppy sentences. Today was the first day on the ground. This morning we visited a church that is adjacent to the garbage dump. We sang, I taught an impromptu bible story, and we did crafts with the kids. Also handed out a little bit of food. This afternoon we went to the SHE rescue home offices and learned about their incredible work. Then we got to go to the home and do a devotional and crafts with the girls. They are so young. They dont talk to us about what they have been through, but every once in a while among the smiling and crafting you look at these little girls and remember why they are there. Very sad, but there is so much hope and restoration there. God is so good.

Provision

I wanted to give an update on my Cambodia trip by sharing with you how God has been providing for me.  (long story about the trip here and here).  Part of the deciding factor in me applying for this trip was money.  It was actually a sign I asked God for - "Lord, if you want me to go, provide us with the funds".  (Yeah, I know you're not supposed to ask for signs...)  But our tax refund came in and lo and behold, we had enough.  Application sent.  And then it started.  First my computer died, then my car started acting up and was in and out of the shop for weeks.  I've had more medical issues in the last three months than in the last three years combined.  Every time we turned around, there was some new unexpected expense.  It may sound dramatic, but I'm pretty much convinced it was an attack by the enemy.  And so I turned to God and said, I know you must have another way to do this.  And He did.  I had had a few people say they wanted to help me with the cost, so I started with them and then asked a few other friends and family, my pastor and others that have faithfully walked beside me in this crazy journey.  As of today, I can say that I have received all but $100 of the cost of this trip.  I stand amazed.  AMAZED.  And what an awesome gift of God to not only provide the money, but in the process to remind me of the beautiful people I have in my life.  Friends who are so generous to stand behind me in this, not just financially but with their kind, encouraging words and constant prayers. 

Beyond the money piece, one of my other hurdles was childcare.  As some of you know, my husband works fairly erratic hours, so I was prepared to have to enlist about 28 different people to watch one kid during the day, take the other to school, bring over meals (dear husband is not so much a chef), and who knows what else.  There were some people I never asked for money because I was pretty sure I would need them on Team Watch-The-Kids, but before I knew it, that was handled too.  My sweet mother-in-law is graciously taking time off of work to be here with my family, and my mom is going to fill in the rest.  So simple, and another gift from God knowing that my little people are in the best of hands while I'm away.

The verse I found when I first decided to go on this trip is:  And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.  2 Cor. 9:8   How he has shown that to be true already.  I wish I could say I had no fear about this trip, but that just wouldn't be honest.  But I have confidence that he will supply all that I need, that I will abound in this good work, and that he will bless me abundantly, even if that might look different than what I expect.  

My Burden Is Easy

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.  Matthew 11:30

I haven't been able to get this out of my head today.  In Sunday School yesterday, the lesson I taught was about living well.  When we ran out of time in class, we were discussing how many of us struggle with feeling like we do enough for God, or enough to qualify as *living well*.  I do believe that when God wants us to do something, He will nudge at us and sometimes even give us a good shove in the right direction.  And there are times that we ignore that voice and that can leave us feeling burdened.  Then there are the commands we see in Scripture - for example, I've been feeling burdened for a while now because I know that Jesus says to serve the poor and the foreigner and the oppressed, and I'm not doing that.  I want to be like Him so I'm burdened for the things that He was burdened for.  But yet... Jesus says this great thing: "my yoke is easy and my burden is light".  I can't help but think he must shake his head at us wringing our hands over all the things we aren't doing, still trying to earn our salvation or His love or a reputation as a "good Christian".   We keep piling on more good deeds, hoping that one more will be the one that soothes our soul, that God might finally approve of us.  And then we are surprised when we are worn out and resentful and our souls are just as dry as they were when we started.

Good news:  God loves us, all the time, no matter what.  As a parent, this should be so easy for me to grasp.  Do I want my kids to clean their rooms and be polite and share their dessert?  Absolutely.  Do I love them any more when they do those things, or any less when they don't?  Absolutely not.  So why is it so hard for me to believe that God loves me this way?  I am His child.  He says in His word that I am His masterpiece.  Wow.  So might I consider laying down some of these burdens and rest in His perfect love?  Might I remember that God will reveal His plans for me in time?  I don't have to force it.  As long as I am obedient when I hear His voice in my heart or read His commands in Scripture, then I can let go of some of this guilt and "not good enough" nonsense. 

As I was writing this, I was reminded of a video I watched last year that also talks about this easy yoke of Jesus.  Rather than just plagiarize the heck out of it here, I'll just link to it.  It's just a few minutes long, and so refreshing and good. 

Balance

It's all broken and a mess and we need to be doing more.  That was the gist of my last post, and my goodness I feel it even more since then.  But even as I was writing it, I knew there was an "on the other hand..." coming.  My Sunday School gals and I have been reading Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequest this summer, and the whole book is full of the most vivid and beautiful descriptions of life.  Of good food and good friends.  Candles and clinking glasses around a table.  Laughter and tears shed with those we love.  And I'm reminded that while the pursuit of material things is vanity, God does give us good gifts, and I believe he wants us to enjoy them.  One of my favorite quotes from another one of Shauna's books ends with "...and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift."  Yes.  I DO love and appreciate this life.  At the end of the day, I love praying with my little girl because we pray silly things like "thank you for ice cream" and "thank you for Sesame Street", and although I know that those things don't make a meaningful life, they certainly make the journey a little more enjoyable.  Am I willing to lay my life down for Christ?  Yes.  Am I willing to make sacrifices so that I can be generous?  I hope so.  But I also don't think we are called to a solemn-faced existence of sackcloth and ashes.

I often think about how God gave us all the tools and ingredients we would need to make things.  Things like computers, bread, clothes, coffee, lightbulbs, cake.  Cake is a big one.  :)  We serve a really creative God, and we are created in His image.  Joy absolutely comes from knowing and serving God, but it can also come from music, art, food, friendship, and any number of other things. 

When I get together with my best girlfriends for a weekend filled with oreo balls and wine, gut-busting laughter and philosophical conversation, I don't think I need to feel guilty for the time and money I could have spent serving others.  I know that God has placed these women in my life to challenge, encourage, uphold, and entertain me.  When I take my children to the museum or the ice cream shop, I won't (always) grieve the $10 I could have sent to Cambodia.  I know that we are making memories and enjoying their childhood and bonding as a family, and those things are important too.  There has to be balance, and we each have to find our own.  The good news is, when we constantly seek the Lord's input on how we spend our time and money, we will find balance.  We will find ways to serve and we will find ways to enjoy.  And many times they will happen all at once!

Broken

The other day, I was reading about an organization called A New Day Cambodia that helps to provide an education for "garbage dump kids" in Cambodia.  It was started by a couple that was traveling in Cambodia, and their driver took them by a city dump where many children go to scavenge for things that they can recycle or sell.  The photos are absolutely heartbreaking and my first instinct was to just close the web page.  Too sad.  Too heavy.  But since there's a chance I might actually be at such a dump in Cambodia in a few months, I thought maybe I should prepare myself for what I might see there.  It's unspeakable.  Precious young children walking through the most disgusting of places, most barefoot, some carrying a naked baby sibling in one arm and a bag in the other for the scraps they find.  They say that the kids make about $10-12 a month from their garbage findings and this is crucial to their family's survival.

I shed a few tears and said a quick prayer, closed my computer, and walked to the back door.  I looked out into the yard where my children were playing.  The yard where I'd really prefer for them to wear shoes, because you know, dirt and ants and such.  The yard where they have soft grass and toys and safety and laughter.  I was about to get dinner ready, and I had briefly wondered earlier in the day whether boxed mac and cheese was really a healthy enough side dish.  I could hardly catch my breath nor stop the tears from falling as I stood there.  In my mind I was screaming - nothing about this is fair!  Nothing about this is right!  Why should I be so blessed to have a roof over my head and a full pantry when babies are scrounging through a GARBAGE DUMP for a few dollars?  It's all so broken.  I know in the depths of my soul that God is good and right and perfect, but at times like this I wonder why he allows this broken mess to go on. 
 
Then I wonder, are we doing something about this?  I mean, really doing something?  I know I am guilty of reading the stories and looking at the photos, wringing my hands a bit and then going back to life as usual.  Why?  Why do we so easily forget about them?  Is it because we don't know where to start?  Because we feel like our piddly efforts won't make a dent?  That's nonsense.  Stretching out our arms to the poor is not a special calling for a few, it's the work of every person who claims to follow Christ.  If we say we love Jesus and want to be his disciple, we'll act like him, right?  Well, what was he all about?  Sacrifice and service, with an incredible heart for the poor and lowly. 

Honestly and at the risk of ruffling feathers, I'm tired of hearing Christians talk about their hard-earned money and how they have the right to keep as much of it as they want and spend it on whatever they darn well please.  A few hours after I looked at the dump photos, we turned on HGTV and some couple was giving a tour of their 27,000 square foot home (yes, you read that right).  I had to leave the room.  How has it come to this, that we live in such disgusting excess?  It seems that every sermon that is preached about the poor, there is always that caveat "it's not that money itself is bad..." or "it's not that we can't enjoy nice things..." so that we can all walk away with our guilt eased a bit.  I've said it myself before.  But maybe it is bad, at least more than we're willing to admit most of the time.  Maybe it's not right for us to install new granite countertops and then claim we don't have enough money left over for the poor.  Maybe social justice and fair wages and feeding hungry children aren't concepts reserved for hippies or communists, but people who love Jesus and care about the things he cared about.

I don't say these things as someone who has it all down.  We don't live in a shack or subsist on a diet of rice and beans so that we can give away half of our paycheck to the poor.  It's very easy for me to draw a line somewhere above our standard of living and say "that's excessive".  But I do want to shine a light on an area that I think is a huge blind spot for a lot of us.  As David Platt says in Radical, maybe we need to shift our thinking from what can we spare? (which let's be honest, is usually not much) to what will it take?  What could I give up so that a child can go to school instead of breathing in toxic fumes at a garbage dump?  If I looked them in the eye and had to tell them "sorry, I really wanted Starbucks last week so I don't have any money for you today", would I make the same choices?

I found this recent article by Jen Hatmaker to be helpful in giving concrete ideas of where to start, if you're like me and get overwhelmed by all the options.  (Skip down to the bottom half of the article, and she names some organizations that do great work like microfinance loans and child sponsorships.)  I'm planning some small steps toward making a difference.  I hope you will too.  I know many of you are already doing amazing things for others in the name of Christ, and I thank you for your example.

"I am only one, but I am one.  I cannot do everything but I can do something, and that which I can do, by the grace of God I will do."  - D.L. Moody

* I'm planning to write a follow-up to this about the other side of the equation (enjoying God's blessings, etc.), so if I stepped on any toes too hard, hang with me.  :)

Fear and Trembling

I have typed and deleted many a blog post this month.  There's so much stuff processing in my brain that I don't know where to start, or I'll start and end up rambling about something completely different.  This is my own fault.  I'll get online to check Facebook and Twitter and before I know it, I've read 15 (often conflicting) blog articles, watched a seminar video or two, and downloaded another book.  I am on information overload. 

Have you heard about the orphan crisis?  How churches and Christians are beginning to take up the cause of the orphan and encourage adoption around the world?  YAY!  Did you also know that many countries are well aware that the rich Westerners want to adopt children, and that has created so much corruption in the adoption industry that in some cases it's impossible to know if they child you are adopting is actually an orphan at all?  *Insert Debbie-Downer wah-wah-wah sound here.* 

Have you always wanted to go on a mission trip?  It sounds great, right?  Spread the gospel around the world!  Build houses and water wells!  YAY!  Did you also know that some short-term mission trips are not actually that helpful to the local, long-term missionaries on the ground that have to design experiences for the short-termers who have big expectations and not always great skill sets?  Did you know that local economy in Haiti has been (even further than it already was) damaged because of the massive influx of rice donations after the earthquake?  Wah-wah.  Gracious, it's like we can't win here.

What I'm realizing more and more is that there are no easy answers in the Christian life, whether we're talking about our personal walk or our impact on the world.  "Pray and read your Bible" are such cliche answers to every situation that I tend to disregard them, but we must be anchored in the Holy Spirit and in scripture or we have no hope.  God forbid that in my haste to be a hero and jump on the adoption bandwagon - which I totally did when I first read about it - I might unknowingly participate in someone's baby being taken from them under false pretenses.  With all this information out there, it can be overwhelming but we have a responsibility to do our homework. 

I have the opportunity to go to Cambodia this fall.  It has been a serious internal struggle for me.  I want to be effective, not just a tourist to someone else's poverty and struggle.  I have prayed and thought and read and talked, and I really do feel like God wants me to go, so I'm putting in my application and we'll see.  I don't know why He wants me to go, but I don't want to miss out on something He might have for me.  But I admit I have been terrified about it.  Afraid of danger, long flights, foreign languages, new foods, the unknown, sure.  But most of all I am TERRIFIED that I will do the wrong thing in God's name.  In my zeal to be a go-er and a do-er, might I do harm in the process?

I actually think this is a good thing.  Philippians 2:12 says "So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed...work out your salvation with fear and trembling."  You could take that a few different directions, but I feel it applied to me in this way:  Do not for a moment take for granted that I know God's plans and purposes.  Approach my role in his kingdom work with caution, wise counsel, and a healthy dose of fear.  Not fear that stops us from acting, mind you, but a posture that I never, ever want to act on my own agenda in a way that dishonors God.  Good intentions are not always enough.  That bit of trembling as I step out forces me into reliance on God's power and will.

As I write all of that, the other side of my brain is saying, aren't we supposed to be working on being more bold and confident and acting immediately when we feel the Spirit prompting us?  Isn't one way of getting out of the inertia of doing nothing to *just do something*, even if we're not sure it's The Thing?  And I think the answers to those questions is yes, so I'm not exactly sure how to reconcile the two.  We can't be paralyzed in inaction because we are afraid of doing the wrong thing, and there are so many needs out there that surely doing something to meet a need, any need, is a good thing.  But there are also people out there who will capitalize on anything to make a profit.  So let's be bold, confident servants who go into our various areas of ministry with our eyes, ears, and search engines open, and desperately rely on God to lead us.

(Links for those interested:  On adoption.  On short-term missions.
Please note that I'm not claiming all international adoptions or short-term missions are bad - obviously, I'm planning to go on one!  I just think we need to be aware of this stuff.)

On Fire

About two hours ago, I tried to build a fire.  We're out of starter logs, so it was just my pyro skills and a stack of paper to work with.  I poked and I adjusted the logs, I added more logs, more paper.  I had this nagging feeling that God wanted to use this fire to teach me something, but after a solid half-hour of trying, I gave up.  It just wasn't going to happen and I figured that nagging feeling was just my own crazy head.  As I was sitting here on the couch just now, the fire started to burn.  It's burning.  What the what?  And now I think I know what he wanted to teach me.

I've been spinning a lot lately.  I get on one track - "God must want me to go to Cambodia, let me research Cambodian relief organizations and trafficking statistics and apartments in Phnom Phen!"  Then that sort of fizzles and I get on something else - Maybe we should be foster parents!  Maybe we should adopt!  Maybe we should start a mentoring program with teen moms..  Maybe we should feed the homeless..  Maybe I should share the gospel with my neighbors.. Maybe.. Maybe..  Maybe not.  Honestly I wear myself out with my incessant poking at God and trying to add my own fuel to get things going.  I'm reminded now that God will give me the plan in His own time.  I only need to wait and be obedient.  In the meantime there is plenty of good to do - kindness to people I meet, patience with  my children (especially needed today!), faithful service in the areas He has already called me.  When it's time, He'll light the fire for me.  What an awesome God we serve.

(Please nobody burst my bubble and tell me that fires start spontaneously all the time.  Maybe they do but I know that God used it today for me!)

Truth In Love

I've been hearing the phrase "speak truth in love" quite a bit in the current marriage debate, and the more I hear it, the more I think that we're not using it correctly.  It seems to me to be one of those phrases like "I don't mean to be offensive/rude, but..." or "Bless her heart...", which sounds nice but is inevitably followed by something terrible.  I'm not suggesting that we should never state our beliefs for fear of offending someone, but I do think we could work on our approach a bit.  So I decided to dive in and analyze (maybe overanalyze!) the passage and see what I could come up with.

The source is Ephesians 4:15:  Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

It seems fairly clear to me that this was written for Christians in their interactions with one another.  We will become the mature body of Christ.  That's the church.  In fact, the whole chapter is about unity within the body of believers, and of course Ephesians was a letter written to the church in Ephesus.  We're taking this verse out of context if we use it to justify broadcasting our beliefs to the world at large. 

I recently read a chapter from the book Love Without Agenda by Jimmy Spencer, Jr.  (I haven't read the whole book and have no idea if it's good or theologically sound, but this one chapter was very good.)  He talks about how once we come to believe the truth represented by Jesus, we must then decide how we will use that truth.  He sets out two options - "#1: I use truth to advance an agenda of coercing the people around me to think, act and believe like me. I use truth to distinguish between allies and enemies. I use truth to brow beat people and prove that I am right. Truth gives me the right to speak into people’s lives, regardless of their willingness to participate..." or "#2:  I use truth to advance a deep and profound purpose for my personal life. Truth is a weapon, intended to be used on myself to help me understand what it means to be human.  If this truth is attractive to others, I’ll freely and gladly share it with them. Truth gives me the freedom to love others because that is who I am. Truth sets me free. I conform myself to Truth in the hopes of growing closer to God and others. Truth illuminates other’s values and calls me to respect their opinions and beliefs."  (Psst, I think #2 is the right answer.)  He later says, "We simply don’t act like Jesus—while yet defending truths about Jesus.  We must aspire to a higher truth."  AMEN!  Defending truths that Jesus cares about isn't wrong, but we have to find a way to do that while still acting like Jesus. 

And then there's the crux - with whom do we share this truth *in love*?  I am convinced that you cannot speak in love via Facebook or holding up a sign at a protest.  To speak in love to someone, you first have to know them.  This goes back to the first statement in bold above - "truth gives me the right to speak into people's lives".  You have to have a relationship with someone before you have the right to speak an incredibly difficult truth to them.  I can probably count on one hand the people in my life whom I would feel entitled to or comfortable with addressing their sins.  It's a heart-wrenching, intimate, complicated conversation that you can't and shouldn't have with just anyone.  I think of the adulterous woman that was about to be stoned.  The famous "you who are without sin, cast the first stone" incident.  I think maybe Jesus said this because we're not supposed to be throwing stones in the public square at people we don't even know.  This mob of strangers and acquaintances acting like her sin was so much worse than theirs and so worthy to be punished - that didn't fly with Jesus.  And you have to love his perfect response to her:  I do not condemn you.  Go, and sin no more.  

  
Have you ever had a random stranger come up to you and point out a sin that you committed?  Or even just a comment on your appearance or your parenting skills?  How'd you receive that?  Immediately change your ways or go tell a friend about the crazy, rude person you encountered that day?  We can't spout these things out in a public forum or to a stranger and expect them to have any impact.  And if there is no impact, then what is the point?  To *stand up for our convictions*?  Does that even mean anything if it doesn't draw anyone to Christ?  

James 2:12-13:  Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.  

Perhaps instead of talking at people about what they're doing wrong, we need to come alongside people with love and mercy, acknowledging that we are just as messed up and broken.  In time and in relationship, we will be able to share the forgiveness and grace, and yes sometimes difficult truth, that has been so generously given to us.  That sounds like love to me. 

Too Much Grace

I have to start by saying that I am amazed by God this week.  After I wrote my last post, like as soon as I hit the "publish" button, I started musing about grace.  Was what I wrote too focused on grace and ignoring the reality of sin and God's justice?  And then came the avalanche.  Everywhere I turned, I bumped into someone talking about grace.  Isn't it incredible how he does this?  I was so hesitant to even start this blog, but I'm glad I did if for no other reason than I realize now I sense his presence the most when I am writing.  I can't even tell you how many places I've seen the word "transformation" since I started this.  Maybe that's just a buzz-word in Christian writing these days, but I never noticed it before.  In other words, God is real, y'all.

But back to the subject of too much grace, and going back to my previous post (His Likeness Shall See), one thing that seems clear to me is that it would be pretty difficult for us to show one another too much grace.  When there is a question of welcoming in a 'sinner' versus shunning them, I hope to choose welcoming every time.  In The Ragamuffin Gospel, the author describes an AA meeting where one man comes forward and admits to going on a drinking binge the week before after 7 years of sobriety.  The group empathizes with him, says "I've been there", loves him, encourages him, prays for him, and promises to walk alongside him in his journey back to sobriety.  It's a beautiful picture.  Isn't that what church should be?  Sinners Anonymous?  Yet we note that there is an acknowledgment, even if it is not spoken, that what he did is not okay.  They do not brush off the weight of his drinking binge or invite him to go out for a beer after the meeting.  I feel this tension in the church, and it's such a fine line.  I DO think that some go so far in grace that they celebrate the sin itself and I think that's a dangerous line to cross, but again I think for most of us, more grace is in order.

Then comes the mega-question that's been on my mind this week, and that is God's grace toward us.  We know that we are saved by grace alone and not by works.  Jesus, his life and death and resurrection and salvation, is a beautiful gift to us and nothing we could ever do here on Earth could earn us that.  We also know that Jesus calls us to die to ourselves, to be willing to abandon everything to follow him, to care for the needy and oppressed.  We know that James says that faith without works is dead.  DEAD.  So should we rest in grace alone, bathe in the knowledge that we are loved by God, carry on with life as it comes, and not feel burdened to do more?  Is this new "radical" movement that I have gotten so excited about just works in grace's clothing?  When I find myself at the end of the day disgusted with myself that I've done so much thinking and talking and so little doing, is that from God or is that from the enemy?    

I read a few things this morning, and I felt like God was giving me the answer to my question.  I think the answer is the Holy Spirit.  Jennie Allen has a great quote that says "Without the Spirit of God to lead our anythings- we will will only be do-gooders with our own agendas."  (Amen!)  This morning I read an article by Ed Cyzewski that said this:

"From where I sit, you can’t do anything radical as a follower of Jesus unless you get spiritual formation right. If you can’t follow the Spirit, you can’t follow Jesus.  The most radical thing you can do as a disciple of Jesus is to wait for an invisible Spirit to tell you what to do with your life. If you’re worried about whether you’re living a radical enough life, the good news is that God’s Spirit will walk with you step by step."

Then I read an interview with Shane Claiborne.  The whole thing is a fantastic read, but the first question out of the box is essentially how to be radical in the midst of ordinary life.   My favorite part of his answer is: "Choosing non-conformity doesn’t mean we’re all going to end up doing the same thing, that we’ll all find ourselves working in a soup kitchen, or sleeping under a bridge. This is an invitation—a call— to re-imagine who we are and how we are to live in light of Jesus. And I get excited because I see folks who are doing that everywhere, in all kinds of different ways."  I think when we are really tuned into his Spirit, when we earnestly seek him and offer him all of us, then we will know.  (This is no small thing, by the way, and something I think many Christians are missing - I certainly was and still struggle with it now.)  If we are unwilling to go there, only THEN are we resting on too much grace and not being radical enough.  If we have done those things and the answer doesn't involve a homeless ministry or adoption or donating your life savings to charity, then we can be assured that we are radically following him even when it feels like ordinary dishes-and-laundry life.  Such a life can still be used by God for extraordinary things, whether it's the impact you have on your family or your kids' friends or your co-workers.  All because of his grace to walk with us and to show us the magnificent plans he has for us.  Too much grace indeed.

His Likeness Shall See

We were singing a hymn on Sunday called Take Time To Be Holy and one of the lines says "By looking to Jesus, like Him thou shalt be; Thy friends in thy conduct His likeness shall see." It really got me thinking.  His likeness shall see.  That's a pretty hefty responsibility.  I can think of a lot of things I portray and I'm not sure how often Jesus' likeness is it.  Instead of gossip or complaining, worry or criticism, I need to be showing Jesus' radical, unbiased, overwhelming, undeserved, lavishing love all the time. And that's not easy. It requires investment into relationships - relationships with people that I might not normally choose to befriend.  Am I willing to start calling people my friends, not because we click or have a lot in common, but just because God tells me to love and serve them?

When I think about Jesus and the people he engaged, the people he loved, the people he ministered to.. it's so hard to live up to!  How did he do it?  This is kinda weird, but sometimes I drive past this adult video store on the highway and think, I bet Jesus would walk right in there and talk to the guy working at the counter. But I wouldn't. Someone might see my car out front and get the wrong idea. Something might offend my pure, virgin eyes.  Counter Guy might not be receptive to my message. Bottom line, I'm afraid. I've had some conversations recently about answering your front door and talking to strangers on the side of the road. No doubt in my mind that Jesus would never look through the peephole and decide not to answer the door. Jesus probably wouldn't have a peephole at all. But I do. And you can be guaranteed that if I don't know the person on the other side, I'm not opening it. Bottom line, I'm afraid. I've got to get to a place where I hand my fears over to Jesus and trust him to love people through me.  (Praying for his wisdom and guidance in all things, of course.  I'm not suggesting we be reckless just for the sake of being reckless.)

I've been thinking a lot about the things it seems we Christians are willing to make noise about.  I hesitate to give specific examples because I don't have enough time and space to give all the disclaimers and caveats and good points on both sides, but I think y'all know the major issues at play in the political and religious arenas these days.  Point being, there's an awful lot of noise coming out of Christians right now that is not rooted in love, which means it's not displaying Jesus' likeness.  And if that's all people hear, then can we blame them for thinking Jesus is not really someone they'd like to follow?  Now, I know there are mountains and heaps of love in The Church. I see it all the time. But for some reason, it just doesn't seem to permeate to the outside world. Though there are people adopting babies and feeding the hungry and loving their neighbor all over the place, still the message the world receives is Judgment. Hypocrisy. Narrow Minded.  Why?  I don't think we can attribute all of it to an unbelieving world rejecting or persecuting the true gospel of Christ (certainly some, but not all).  Might it be that many of us, myself included, have been raised to stay inside the safe walls of the church and lavish our love on each other such that we don't give much of it away to the broken, the needy, the foul-mouthed, the Counter Guy? The ones that threaten our precious morality and catapult us right out of our comfortable places?

I was preparing for a bible study lesson a few weeks ago and did a quick little research project on Jesus' commands. My goal was to prove that Jesus commands us to go and do and serve because that fit in really nicely with what I wanted to say.  What I found instead was a whoooole lot of "be holy and righteous and love God" commands and a healthy sprinkling of "go and do and serve" commands.  So basically we are to get our own righteousness in order - quite the never-ending project - and then love other people.  Never, ever does Jesus instruct us to rant and rave about the sins of unbelievers. (Disclaimer - Is there a place for speaking the truth in love regarding sin to our Christian brothers and sisters? Yes.)  Paul traveled to some of the most pagan, hedonistic places on Earth - places that make America look downright puritanical - and never did he argue with the people about their idols or their lifestyles.  He simply preached the gospel, that people might hear that Jesus was really the son of God and the source of salvation for everyone.  And I can't help but think that's because you can't change a person from the outside in.  What good is it to try to force someone to follow a moral code?  Even if we could do it (and we totally can't), then what?  That doesn't change hearts or transform lives.  Transformation has to come from the inside out, and how can that happen but from a relationship with a person who shows them His likeness?  May we be those kind of people.

It's Just A Game

I think one of the hardest things about transformation is the letting go of the world that you have to do.  Those darn verses like Matthew 6:24 - "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money." - yeah, I tried really, really hard to prove those wrong. I loved my stuff, and I wanted more of it. At some point a few years ago, I actually sat down and wrote a list of all the things I wanted to have by the end of the following year. Things like a DSLR camera, a new couch, etc. I honestly thought if I could just get the things on that one list, then I'd be happy and that would be enough and I would stop wanting more. But of course it's never enough. And it's true, you can't serve God and money (aka possessions). You will get comfortable and secure in your own ability to get stuff, or you will be discontent and bitter and resentful because you can't get the stuff, or you will become obsessed and distracted by all the stuff. And God really cannot be Lord and King when you're in those places.

In one of my must-read books (Seven, I'm pretty sure) the author talks about consumerism as a machine, how advertising and media have invested billions in making us believe we need this and want that and have to have the other.  But what if we all just unplugged from the machine? Objectively, when you look at it on the whole, you know it's an illusion, right? I could redecorate my house and overhaul my wardrobe every year to keep up with the trends, make all the crafts on Pinterest, throw the best parties, and buy the latest gadgets, and where would it get me?  Exhausted, empty, and out a whole bunch of cash.  Who exactly decided this stuff was cool, and why do I care?  Not to mention that in a breath, the trends will change and I'll be right back where I started.

I used to think that Ecclesiastes was so depressing - all "life is meaningless" and such - but now I think I'm starting to get it.

All things are full of weariness;
a man cannot utter it;
the eye is not satisfied with seeing,
nor the ear filled with hearing.

What has been is what will be,
and what has been done is what will be done,
and there is nothing new under the sun.
...
I have seen everything that is done under the sun,
and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind.  Ecc. 1:8-10, 14

Don't you feel that, at least sometimes?  This world cannot offer us anything of lasting value.  Not one thing.  So what if we all decide we aren't going to buy in anymore?  What if we said, "This is what God has blessed me with, and it is enough." This salary is enough, this house is enough, this closet of clothes is enough, the kids have enough toys (can I get an AMEN?!).  Maybe it's even too much and we need to downsize in some areas?  With all that freed up time and money and energy spent chasing after the wind, what meaningful things we could do? Sponsor a child? Take a mission trip? Invite your neighbors over for dinner? Observe the Sabbath?? (ouch, log in my eye there)

Sometimes wisdom comes from the funniest of places. I bought some songs for my daughter by a group called Secret Agent 23 Skidoo. (Yeah, I don't get it either.) They're cute little hip hop songs for kids. Anyway, part of their song "Gotta Be Me" goes like this:

Some people think making you feel bad
will make them feel good and that’s just sad,
but no matter what they do or say
it’s just a game and you don’t have to play.

I don't know why, but that song makes me tear up almost every time.  Yes, a kids' rap song makes me emotional.  Probably because I so desperately want my kids to understand that.  But grown-ups, we need the message too.   It IS just a game.  The posturing, the keeping up, the never-ending parade of trinkets and treasures that we want, want, want.. it is not real.  Moth and rust destroy, and thieves break in and steal. (Matt. 6:19-21)  But we have something better.  We have the love of Christ, and we all have a purpose in Him, to be salt and light, to make disciples, to pursue holiness and to help the poor and oppressed.  Nothing can destroy or steal those things, and the best possessions money can buy cannot compete with them.

Footnote - It's important for me to clarify, I am not saying we should never enjoy a nice dinner out or buy new clothes or a new couch or whatever.  But there is a very marked difference when you let go of that rope that tethers you to the world.  You don't need it anymore to feel successful or comfortable or valuable.  You can just enjoy things as they come, thank God for them, and go on with your life.  Life is so much better that way!

Cambodia

One of the coolest parts of my year has been Cambodia.  It's kind of a long story, so bear with me!  To start, at the end of the book Radical, the author recommends a series of steps to follow for the next year (confession, I didn't do most of them).  One of them is to pray for the entire world - a bit of a daunting task.  Enter Operation World, a handy website that will send you a daily e-mail with information about a country to pray for.  Easy enough for me.  The day that I got to Cambodia, I had this... feeling.  I didn't really know what it was, I just felt a special connection to that country, I guess.  I started googling things like "help Cambodia" and came across the International Justice Mission website.  They do a lot of work in different countries, and in Cambodia they have attorneys that do work with human trafficking.  Oh hey, I'm married to a lawyer!  So I tried really hard to convince the hubs to take a year-long unpaid internship with IJM in Cambodia, but for some reason he was hesitant to suspend his law practice for year and haul our whole family to a random Asian country we know nothing about.  Hmmph.  :)

After that, I sort of sat on the whole thing for a while.  We were in the home-buying process and I was wondering if it was all my imagination that God might have something for me in Cambodia.  Then in a study at church one day, I mentioned it and to my surprise, in that tiny room of maybe 10 people, one of them had been to Cambodia 4 times and another had started a church for Cambodian immigrants in Louisiana several years before.  Oh, and had just gotten in touch with the Cambodian pastor the week before.  What are the chances?  So now I'm really paying attention!  But again, nothing really *happened* so Cambodia is still simmering away in the back of my brain.

Over the next few months, Cambodia would continue to pop up every now and then.  And then one night I was searching on Pure Charity (a pretty cool social media-esque website for giving) for Cambodian charities, and the one and only one that popped up was Rescue Her, and where should they be located but Euless, TX, not far from me at all!  Their purpose is to fight against human trafficking, so they are partners with a rescue home in Cambodia (yay!), they work with local girls who are at risk of being drawn into the sex trade, and they are working to build a new safe home in India.  My first job is to help with their 5K walk/run that will go toward building the new safe home for rescued girls in Chennai, India.  I'm excited to see what God is going to do through this organization, and what other Cambodian adventures he might have in store for me.  :)

And since this post wouldn't be complete without a request for money (!), if you would like to donate to Rescue Her's efforts in India, here is a link to my fundraising page.  I'm also including a video that gives a little more info about human trafficking.  Rescue Her also sells locally roasted coffee, t-shirts and other goodies that all goes toward the fight against trafficking. 

Transformation

I have a blog already.  If you're here, you've probably been there too and maybe noticed that it hasn't been updated in months.  Here's why.  Lately I find my mind spinning with all sorts of spiritual musings.  I've gone through this awakening of sorts in the past year, and I want to share it so badly but never feel like I do it justice when I talk about it.  And it felt sort of strange to lob a bunch of deep spiritual/theological/political thoughts amongst pictures of the kids’ Halloween costumes and birthday parties.  So I thought I’d just give it its own space and see how it goes. 

Why “Transformation”?  As I mentioned, over the past year or two, God has changed my heart in a major way.  I found myself thinking things like “I feel born again” (which if I'm being honest made me feel a bit like a fundie weirdo).  But really, the change was so drastic that I began to wonder, was I even a Christian before?  That didn’t make sense because I know I’ve had faith in Jesus since I was a kid.  Then I read this passage in Jen Hatmaker’s book Interrupted and it all clicked. 

“I thought I was well beyond transformation.  A little refining?  Sanding some rough edges?  Sure.  But transformation? ... When what to my pious eyes should appear?  Transformation that interrupted my entire life.” 

BINGO.  Transformation!  (Funny side note, once that word showed up, it kept on showing up.  It seemed like everywhere I turned, someone was talking about transformation.  God is so clever.)  It’s not that I wasn’t saved before, I just hadn’t allowed myself to be transformed.  I wanted to look like everyone else.  I wanted the normal, safe life that we’re all taught to expect and desire.  Everything is different now, at least on the inside.  (I'm working on pushing all that change through to the outside!)  I don’t care so much about keeping up with the world around me anymore.  I want God to use me to accomplish something.  No matter what it is, no matter what it costs, let it be. 

Should you wonder what caused this transformation...  I believe God used two things.  First, a bible study that I’ve been attending for a couple of years now.  (Shout out to Community Bible Study - look for a group near you!)  It’s true that you can’t know God apart from knowing his word, and I’ve been able to dig into and discuss the Bible in a way that I never have before.  Second, a series of books and blogs that blew my mind and showed me a new way of looking at the Bible that I inexplicably managed to miss up to this point.  So on that note, I present to you My Highly Recommended Reading List:

Crazy Love by Francis Chan - I actually read this one several years ago and looking back, it was the first seed God planted in this journey.  There wasn't a huge impact at the time, but then God picked us up out of our life and moved us somewhere new.  Apparently He wanted to get my attention.
Radical by David Platt - This is the one that really started to mess me up.
Seven by Jen Hatmaker
Anything by Jennie Allen
This series of blogs from a trip to Haiti - especially My Heart Is Hot , Mopping Haiti, In Which God Doesn't Look The Same Anymore
Red Letter Revolution by Shane Claiborne and Tony Campolo - This one my hubby affectionately refers to as ‘that hippie liberal book’.  Which it is.  I don’t necessarily agree with everything they put forward, but it is definitely interesting to read and makes you take a fresh look at your political ideals.
Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker
Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller - Miller is a genius.  His writing is so poetic and different and deep. He makes you look at the Bible in a beautiful new way.
Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller

Takeaway message?  Well, there are a million, but first and foremost:  if you tell God that you will do anything he would ask of you (and mean it!), and ask him to raise up a holy passion in you, He will be faithful to transform you too.

2 Corinthians 5:17 - Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:  The old has gone, the new is here!

I'm hopeful that this blog will chronicle my journey from the apathetic, keeping-up-with-the-Joneses style Christian I was to the radical, surrendered follower of Christ I want to be.  I've also got a major passion for social justice these days, so I hope to have some exciting adventures in that arena to share too.