Cambodia: One Year Later

Today's the day.  A year ago I was getting on a plane to Cambodia.  (Of course that plane had to turn back to Dallas because a bird blew out an engine so technically I didn't leave until tomorrow, but you know.)  I've been thinking a lot about it with this anniversary approaching.  Why did I go?  Did it make a difference to me or the people I met there?  Am I still living like it happened, and it mattered? (Fair warning, this post is all over the place.)

There's no doubt that Cambodia made an indelible impression on me, but not really in any of the ways I expected.  I expected to be crushed by the weight of poverty and trafficking and sadness, and that did happen at some points in the trip.  But when I think back, I most remember laying our hands on women in prayer, sitting in a rickety house marveling at God's love through a translator, the young men at church telling us how they believe Jesus can change Cambodia for the better.  I remember the best coffee of my life, crazy rides in tuk-tuks, the beautiful smiles of children, well-worn school uniforms, playing duck duck goose on a dirt road, and pipe cleaners.  (Those kids went so crazy for brightly colored pipe cleaners!)  I remember how God got bigger and doctrine got smaller.  I remember that evil is more horrible than I ever knew was possible, and I remember that God's redemption and hope goes beyond what I ever imagined.

Cambodia taught me that we have our own kind of poverty here.  I found myself jealous of their community, their lack of front doors, their children running around together in the alleys all day.  I know this is insane because it's also these situations that make them vulnerable, but still I grieve for our locked doors and our fences and our "don't go out there" mentality.  I really wonder if much of our anxiety and depression can be traced to this root.  (And I say this as someone who has struggled with anxiety recently.)  We simply are not meant to live alone within four walls.  I think this is the thing that has had the very most impact on me from my trip, and that I am most passionate about in my American Life right now.  Finding and fostering real community.

Cambodia taught me about laying down our lives for the gospel.  Our hosts for that week were a young couple from Australia.  They left everything to come to Phnom Penh and work at SHE Rescue Home.  When we were there, they had just found out that she was pregnant with their first child, and conventional wisdom would say that it was time to hang up their mission work and go home to raise their baby in a safe, comfortable place, but they planned to stay.  There was Rod, also an Australian, who did such amazing work with the poor despite his own health struggles.  We are so stinkin' selfish with our resources here.  We are so concerned with protecting our own homes, families, money, and time, that most days getting tangled up with needs and injustices around us feels all but impossible.  We talk a lot about "putting Jesus first" but what does that even mean to most of us?  That we'll try real hard to read our Bible every day?

And can we talk for a minute about women?  Cambodia taught me so much about women.  I know that feminism can be something of a dirty word in certain circles, but at the heart of feminism is simply valuing women equally.  I saw firsthand the need for that.  There's a saying in Cambodia that girls are like white cloth and that boys are like gold.  In essence, once white cloth is stained, it's worthless, but gold can be polished up and clean again.  Girls are trafficked and raped because they aren't valued, and once that has happened to them they are further devalued because they're "stained" in so many eyes.  This kind of thing happens all around the world, and it has to change.  It has to be a priority for us.  Galatians tells us "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."  If we as the church nearly 2000 years later cannot agree that men and women are one in Christ Jesus, we have a problem!  I watched amazing women on my team, in the rescue home, pastoring churches in garbage dumps, little girls healing from wounds I could never fathom... Girls matter.  Women matter.  If there is any sense of God-given justice in us, we should care about this.

 My team of world-changing women.

Precious girls (and boys) who matter so very much.

If anyone is interested in getting involved with Cambodia or anti-trafficking efforts, see this list I wrote not long after my trip.  I'd also add to that list International Justice Mission.  I am constantly in awe of their work.  There are so many good people out there fighting the good fight in this arena, and God can always use another willing heart!

Photos!

I finally got some pictures downloaded!  I'm hoping to get some more from the rest of the team because mine aren't great, but here they are.

First are some ministry shots.  The first two are from the first morning when we served at the church near the dump.  We did activities inside with the kids and then handed out some food.  The last two are from the HIV orphanage, New Hope for Cambodian Children - precious little ones!

Unfortunately at most of our ministry stops, we were not allowed to take pictures, either to protect the privacy of the girls or simply to be respectful of the families.  I actually appreciated that about our trip, but it's a bit of a bummer that I can't share so much of it.  So I'll move on to some snapshots of life in Cambodia...

A tuk tuk!  Our primary mode of transportation.  I miss it already.

The insanely muddy road we drove on to get to the Killing Fields.  A couple of times our tuk tuk got stuck so we all had to get out and walk for a little bit while he got moving again.

A house we saw on the ride to the Killing Fields.  I wouldn't say this is a typical house, but definitely not uncommon.

My attempt at getting a picture of the traffic.  There are really no words for the chaos that is Phnom Penh traffic.  Most of the people are on motorcycles or tuk tuks, so they just weave in and out of traffic like there are no rules.  Eventually you get used to feeling like you are about to get hit at any given moment!

Spirit houses - this must have been a market or something where they were selling them.  Many, many homes have a spirit house out front, and the people believe some kind of spirits live in there and they will burn incense for them or even leave food for them.  Very sad.

I don't know how well you can see this, but it's a couple with 3 small kids on their moto.  We saw this everywhere, it was crazy!  Apparently car seat safety is not a big deal in Cambodia.  ;)

And finally, some pretty things!  My beautiful, amazing team:

Khmer iced coffee with sweet milk!  Better than Starbucks.  I had one every day.

Our table at Daughters Cafe, an awesome restaurant where they employ women that have come out of trafficking.  Daughters also has a store where I spent so much of my money.  They make the most beautiful things!

From the wall at SHE rescue home, which sums it all up quite nicely:

Days 5 and 6!

Sunday means Church Day! We got to attend New Life Fellowship Church. First we went to the children's church, where we helped them hand out snacks. (By the way, their snack was a 'sandwich' of sweetened condensed milk between 2 pieces of bread. Maybe this should have been sad to me, but it was hilarious watching some of the kids open up the bread and just lick the milk out of the middle. I can totally see my kids doing that!) One of the pastors told us about all the ministries they do in the community, providing schooling and English classes, food and other ministries to the slums and the garbage dump folks. Very inspiring. We performed a few songs and a skit for the children and then just got to sit and listen to the rest of their service. It was so sweet to hear the kids worshiping and praying, even though we didn't understand any of it!

 One of my very favorite things about this day was speaking with one young man who was a teacher at the school. He talked to us about how he wanted to see his country change and especially to see this generation grow up knowing Christ. He said he believes that Jesus can do it and he asked us to keep praying for his country. Melt my little heart into a puddle. I just love this country and know I will be praying for them my whole life.

After kids' church, we got to attend 'big church' downstairs. It was wonderful to worship with them and thankfully a few of us got to hear the service translated through headphones. It was funny, part of his sermon was about not just focusing on church programs but on ministry and relationships, and I thought it would be perfectly applicable to a church in the States! I guess church problems are similar worldwide.

After church, we had one last family visit. Three of us got to visit with the adults, and the rest stayed downstairs with the kids. Now is a good time to talk about their houses. One of our team described them as treehouses, and that is just about right, at least in the villages. They usually have a couple of rooms downstairs, and then you climb up a wooden ladder to the top floor and it's like a treehouse. Also in the room where we met, they do sewing for the SHE home. That was really cool to see another direct impact of the ministry, especially since we had just spent so much money on that stuff the day before! Even though I know the conditions are still poor and I don't see how I could ever live there, in some ways on this day this house just seemed normal to me. They had such pride in their home and kept it clean and it just felt more like a cultural difference than a tragedy. Maybe that's also because we had such a great visit. I got to be with the adults, and two of the women were Christians and two were not. We talked to them about God's love, and the two non-Christians didn't really understand prayer so we spent some time explaining that. Then one of the Christian women just talked to us about how she loves to tell others about God and how happy she was that we were there. She said she knows that more people are coming to know God because of the foreign teams that have come in, and that was such a huge morale boost for us. She was just an encouragement all around. I asked her if it was ever hard or scary to share her faith, and she said no. What an example! I got to tell them too how God had put a special place in my heart for Cambodia and that I was praying for them. Best day ever. :)

When we were finished and went downstairs, the kids were playing duck-duck-goose and we watched them for a while longer. It was so fun to watch them run and play and just be kids. Later the kids' team told us they had talked about how God is always with them. At this point in the trip we were almost completely out of craft supplies so all we had left was some purple ribbon. They ended up making them 'reminder bracelets' with the ribbon so they would remember that God was with them. I don't think we had encountered or noticed this yet, but some of the kids were also wearing red bracelets which are for Buddhism, so it was actually really cool that they got to put on the purple ones.

The next day I already posted a little bit about. We spent some more time at Open Arms, did a ton of shopping at a place called Daughters (another cool ministry), and visited Empowering Cambodia. They do some awesome things in the provinces, from building water wells to providing education to microloans. In Phnom Penh, they have a sewing training program, which is where we visited. We had the opportunity for a couple of us to share testimonies and several of the women asked us to pray over them.

We had our last meal at Jars of Clay, then headed to the airport for the long trip home. It's a good thing I loved Cambodia, because the traveling was every bit as bad as I thought it would be. I think I counted it up and I spent almost 40 hours on planes in total. Movies and video games can only get you so far! Hopefully if/when I go back, I'll have someone with me so I can at least talk a little bit to pass the time! That's the last of the daily recaps, but no fear I still have plenty to tell about! And pictures, one of these days I'll get those in order and post them too. So far since I got home yesterday morning I've slept about 14 hours and still have lots of catching up to do. Thank goodness for cool rainy weather, perfect for napping. :) Also I just want to say a quick thank you so much to all those who prayed and supported me on this trip. I'm still working on an answer to "how was your trip?" that is less than 4,958 words long so for now you might just get "wonderful!" when you ask.

Day 4

This day was a bit different. We drove about an hour and a half to New Life For Cambodian Children, an orphanage in the province for children with HIV. Most of their parents have died from the disease or can no longer care for them. The place is huge with multiple housing buildings, school buildings, dining areas, a massive playground, a medical center stocked with all the medications for the kids, and then they do a lot of farming there for food and to sell to the markets. They have egg-laying hens, ginormous pigs, and lots of vegetables. I cant remember if they do rice, but rice seems to grow everywhere here. It's really beautiful, these massive fields of green. Anyway, we toured the orphanage and then they prepared us the best lunch. Fried chicken, french fries, rice, some kind of zucchini-like vegetable that was really yummy, a Khmer sour soup, and giant red grapes. I was a bit nervous because the kids were eating this stuff they called fish porridge and I thought I would have to pray that stuff down, but they were so sweet to cook things we would like. We joked and said we needed to open a KFC- Khmer Fried Chicken - and sell that stuff. It was so good!

After lunch we set up - you guessed it - crafts! There were about 150 kids so we divided them into a few groups but it was mostly mass chaos. :) They finished pretty quick so we had some time to just talk and play with the kids. They take English classes so especially the older ones were able to talk to us really well. I have some really cute pictures from here that I can't wait to share. I had one little boy that was my shadow, and he was a sweetheart. Orphanages here are a bit different because most countries have closed adoption with Cambodia (lots of fraud several years back) so they pretty much know the kids will be there until they are 18. The kids seemed mostly healthy though, and they talked about sending them off to university and jobs so their prognosis must be pretty good.

That took up most of our day, and then we moved from where we were staying to a hostel on the riverfront. I think the idea was that we would be able to minister to some of the girls in the red light district, but some of the rules have changed so we haven't really done that.

 I will have to write about day 5 later - it was my favorite! Today is day 6, and our flight home leaves very late tonight. We have one more ministry to visit, a place where they train girls to sew. Then we have some free time for shopping and Open Arms, our favorite. It is another ministry that trains girls to do beauty stuff. We went the other day and I had a hair wash, which is like 30 minutes of washing and head massage for about $4. Ridiculous. They use ice cold water and it feels sooooo good after being in the heat all day. Then it will be time to head home. In some ways it feels like I just got here and in others it feels like I have been here forever. I pray that this won't be the last time I get to come here. Definitely can't wait to see my babies and my hubby. Please be patient with me as I readjust to normal life and forgive me if 80% of my sentences for the next few months start with "when I was in Cambodia..."

Day 3

We started out our morning headed to another visit with the family of one of the rescue home girls, but the traffic was so terrible we couldn't get there! We were in the tuk tuk for probably an hour, it was crazy. They had blocked off one of the most major roads because they were opening a new monument to the former king. So we skipped ahead to our next stop, which was BloomCafe. They make the most AMAZING cakes, so we got to eat cupcakes and coffee and got to tour the whole place and see them bake and decorate.

After lunch the road was back open so we got to do the family visit. Their village had a lot of flooding so we put on our 'gum boots' and were warned if we fell off the path we might have to swim! Thank God it wasn't too bad, but it was definitely a rickety wooden path with murky water below. At the house, some of us spoke with the mom and daughter - they are both Christians now and were happy to be with sisters in Christ. Downstairs we met with a few of the neighborhood kids. We told them about how God created the world and each of them, and we did some crafts. If there is a theme to this trip, it is crafts! We do them everywhere.

Next was back to SHE rescue home were we helped the girls build and plant their first small veggie garden. Then more devotional and crafts with the girls and said goodbye. That will be our last time to spend with them. After we were done we went back to the office and had some time to buy some of the things that the girls and their families make - it is part of how they help them earn a wage - and after all was said and done they said we had paid for 3 months of wages for the families! The power of women shopping. :)

Pizza for dinner then back to our room, where I finally slept all night. Thank you for praying for that! I felt less sad and overwhelmed after this day which was good. Things are hard here but there is hope in there too.

Day 2

Is this really just day 2? I feel like I must have miased one. Anywho this day was a very long and overwhelming one. We started out by going to the Killing Fields to learn more about Cambodia's history. Tough morning. I had read about the Khmer Rouge over the past year or so but it was still unbelievable to be there. 3 million people out of their 8 million population just wiped out. It is one of the reasons their country suffers so much today and is so poor.

After that we did some work at the SHE offices stamping some bags for them to sell. The we went to a village to visit the grandmother of one of the girls in the rescue home. They do these visits with families monthly and we will be doing more of them while we are here. Part of our group taught a devotional about love and family with the adults, and some of us worked with the sweet children singing, talking about prayer, and doing more crafts. They love crafts! I love saying my handful of Khmer phrases to them, it is so much fun.

The conditions in the village are so difficult. Some of them have little more than a raised wooden flat for sleeping with a curtain type thing to close it up. They have had so much flooding this year and many are displaced from their homes. The grandmother today said her home is waist deep in water and there are snakes. Pray for her!

We also went to the "village" at the garbage dump at night to distribute food and water. The conditions here are again unbelievable. I cried all the way home. I think I was just so overwhelmed by the enormity of the poverty and in total awe of the men and women who do this work day in and out. So much more to tell but I should try to sleep.

Pray for rest and strength for our team - we all keep waking up around 1 or 2 am and having trouble going back to sleep. At least tonight I went to bed early and got several hours of sleep but it is 3 and I have been up for an hour. It is amazing though, I will feel so tired before we get to our ministries and God just boosts me with love and energy when we get there.

Day 1

Typing this on my nook so there will be oodles of typos and choppy sentences. Today was the first day on the ground. This morning we visited a church that is adjacent to the garbage dump. We sang, I taught an impromptu bible story, and we did crafts with the kids. Also handed out a little bit of food. This afternoon we went to the SHE rescue home offices and learned about their incredible work. Then we got to go to the home and do a devotional and crafts with the girls. They are so young. They dont talk to us about what they have been through, but every once in a while among the smiling and crafting you look at these little girls and remember why they are there. Very sad, but there is so much hope and restoration there. God is so good.